Dean & Castiel – Without you I am just a sad song

Castiel 真是 Lucifer 最漂亮的一個 vessel 啊!

這是一開始 Dean 講的話,也是我認為 Dean 對於內心感情最誠實的一次告白。

Dean: And, I don’t know, I mean, there’s things. There’s people, feelings that I…I want to experience differently than I have before, or maybe even for the first time.

— From Supernatural 10×16 – Paint It Black

其實這段 confession 我一聽就知道他講得是 Castiel,編劇也很明顯的是在寫 Castiel,因為 Dean 之所以會講這些話,是因為之前發生了一些事情,就是 10×14 Dean 跟 Cain 對峙的那件事。

話說我現在才發現這段對話,奇怪我到底有沒有寫 10×14 的觀後感啊?

Sam: Dean, look, we want to help.
Dean: No. No, with you in the ring, it’d just be a liability.
Castiel: Dean?
Dean: I’d be too worried about what he could do to you… Or what I could.

— From Supernatural 10×14 – The Executioner’s Song

Sam 跟 Castiel 本來想幫忙,但是被 Dean 阻止了,而 Dean 的那兩句話實在是很妙。

他用 No. No, with you in the ring, it’d just be a liability. 阻止 Sam 來插手;然後他用 I’d be too worried about what he could do to you… Or what I could. 來阻止 Castiel。

Sam 跑進來就是讓 Dean 多了個要照顧他的責任無法放手一搏,Castiel 進來只是讓 Dean 擔心得要死深怕 Castiel 受到傷害。在說完 Or what I could 的時候,其實一開始也還是看著 Castiel,但是隨即很嚴肅地看向 Sam。

他是在交代 Sam,要有心理準備,因為他甚至沒有辦法保證自己不會變得連他自己都不認識。我不知道 Dean 要求 Sam 做出的心理準備包含了什麼事情,因為 Sam 絕對是無法對 Dean 下手。

Dean 在交代遺言(算是啦)的時候雖然很想故作輕鬆,但是其實他很放不下 Castiel 也很捨不得他難過,仔細看 3:48 開始,Dean 有輕輕地跟 Castiel 挑眉毛要他放心。

接著就是 Cain 對 Dean 說的那番話:

Cain: This may be hard to believe in light of what I’m about to do to you, but I care about you, Dean. I truly do. But I know I’m doing you a favor. I’m saving you.
Dean: Saving me from what?
Cain: From your fate. Has it never occurred to you? Have you never mused upon the fact that you’re living my life in reverse? My story began when I killed my brother, and that’s where your story inevitably will end. No. Never. It’s called the Mark of Cain for a reason! First — first, you’d kill Crowley. There’d be some strange, mixed feelings on that one, but you’d have your reason. You’d get it done, no remorse. And then you’d kill the angel, Castiel. Now, that one — that I suspect would hurt something awful. And then! [ Groans ] Then would come the murder you’d never survive, the one that would finally turn you into as much of a savage as it did me. No. Your brother, Sam. The only thing standing between you and that destiny is this Blade. You’re welcome, my son.

— From Supernatural 10×14 -The Executioner’s Song

Cain 的預言就是 Dean 會反著重複他的命運,這就是 Mark of Cain 的詛咒跟宿命,這就是 10×14 最重要也影響 Dean 最深的部分。

回到 10×16 Dean 的那段 confession。

Dean 一開始只是想要從 Fatger Delaney 那邊套話所以瞎掰了一個老婆 Gina 不想死,但不知怎的,Dean 很老實的跟 Father Delaney 他內心最深沉的心事,背景音樂告訴我們,那就是 Dean 最真的心事。

他早就知道他會死,但是他突然很不想死,至少他很不想要現在死去。

Father Delaney: Is there anything else on your mind, Agent Allman?
Dean: [Chuckles] What if I said I… I didn’t want to die…yet, you know, that I wasn’t ready?
Father Delaney: Are you expecting to?
Dean: Always. [Chuckles] You know, the life I live, the work I do…I pretty much just figured that that was all there was to me, you know? Tear around and jam the key in the ignition and haul ass until I ran out of gas. I guess I just thought sooner or later, I’d go out the same way that I live – pedal to the metal, and that would be it.
Father Delaney: But now?
Dean: Now, um… recent events, uh… make me think I might be closer to that than I really thought. And … I don’t know. I mean, you know, there’s – there’s things, there’s … people, feelings that I-I-I want to experience differently than I have before, or maybe even for the first time.
Father Delaney: Go a little deeper, perhaps, than with Gina.
Dean: Yeah. Yeah, I’m just starting to think that… maybe there’s more to it all than I thought.

— from Supernatural 10×16 – Paint It Black

Dean 的心裡深愛著一個人,這份愛,是他這輩子第一次如此深切感受到的。這份愛情讓他不想死,他不甘願自己的故事只能到這裡為止,他開始渴求更多,不是只有這樣而已。

It’s not Gina, it’s Cas.

目前我能想到最好的猜測是 Dean 和 Castiel 在 10.07 之後第一次發生關係,因為在那之後,我們很明顯地看到 Castiel 跟 Dean 之間的互動變得更加直接親密,Castiel 的情緒也變得很強烈跟明顯,而且還會毫不掩飾的撒嬌,10×09 和 10×10 裡面演得十分清楚,而且 Dean 超聽 Castiel 的話,只要 Castiel 盧一下就投降了。

這個影片裡面,Sam 聽 Castiel 在那邊抱怨 Claire 不理他後,馬上就露出絕妙的搞笑表情看了看 Dean,Dean 就算再不想要只能答應 Castiel。

不然咧?

第十季後面更不用說,一開始很拗的 Dean 根本就成了 Calire 的另一個爸爸沒少疼愛 Calire,反正 Castiel 重視的東西他也會跟著很重視就是了。

殺了我我也不相信這樣叫做 brothers 啊!

Sad Song

by We The Kings

You and I, we’re like fireworks and symphonies exploding in the sky
With you, I’m alive
Like all the missing pieces of my heart, they finally collide

So stop time right here in the moonlight
‘Cause I don’t ever wanna close my eyes

Without you, I feel broke
Like I’m half of a whole
Without you, I’ve got no hand to hold
Without you, I feel torn
Like a sail in a storm
Without you, I’m just a sad song
I’m just a sad song

With you, I fall
It’s like I’m leaving all my past and silhouettes up on the wall
With you, I’m a beautiful mess
It’s like we’re standing hand and hand with all our fears up on the edge

So stop time right here in the moonlight
‘Cause I don’t ever wanna close my eyes

Without you, I feel broke
Like I’m half of a whole
Without you, I’ve got no hand to hold
Without you, I feel torn
Like a sail in a storm
Without you, I’m just a sad song

You’re the perfect melody
The only harmony I wanna hear
You’re my favourite part of me
With you standing next to me
I’ve got nothing to fear

Without you, I feel broke
Like I’m half of a whole
Without you, I’ve got no hand to hold
Without you, I feel torn
Like a sail in a storm
Without you, I’m just a sad song

Without you, I feel broke
Like I’m half of a whole
Without you, I’ve got no hand to hold
Without you, I feel torn
Like a sail in a storm
Without you, I’m just a sad song, I’m just a sad song

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