Who is your Good Luck, Castiel?

Well…這篇文章的起因是因為我今天在下班前在 Tumblr 上面看到這篇 post,當場淚流滿面,完全不顧我現在人還在公司座位上,幸好四周都沒剩多少同事,才沒被人看到我這副糗樣。

一個笨蛋默默的對著電腦擦眼淚…

by pandasinthetardis

Watching Dean Winchester leave Purgatory is one of the hardest things Castiel has ever done. Not because Dean is leaving, no he was ecstatic about that. Dean needs to leave this miserable, dreary place where monsters wait in the shadows with blood red eyes and sharp claws. It is hard, sad, because Dean does not want to leave Purgatory, not without Cas. Dean screams, yells, and near the end, cries as he is being pulled from Purgatory by some unknown force. Maybe it is Sam who finally figured out how to save his brother. Maybe it divine intervention (Cas has been brought back to life to many times to not believe in his Father).

“Cas!” Dean is pulling against the light that surrounds him. “Grab my hand!” He reaches for Cas, straining so hard Cas is sure Dean is going to break something.

Slowly Cas lifts his hand. He knows if he was meant to go with Dean, to be free of this wretched place, the light would be taking him too.

Cas’s hand reaches right through Dean’s. “Fuck! Cas! Shit, man. Come on! Try harder!” Dean is frantic now. With all the struggling the light that surrounds Dean is loosening its grip. It’s Cas’s turn to panic. Dean Winchester does not deserve to be in this place. Cas does. This is his punishment. It’s his punishment for disobeying, for killing his brothers, for becoming god, for loving. He’s long ago accepted this fact and it no longer bothers him that he will spend an eternity here. But Dean cannot, must not, be in here a moment longer. Dean is too bright and too human to survive this place.

“Dean,” Cas says more calmly than he feels. “You must go.” Cas stands on his toes and with the added inches he’s able to cup Dean’s insubstantial cheek. “Please. Go.” His words hitch at the last syllable. The pain and sadness in Dean’s eyes break Cas’s heart. “Don’t make me loose you to,” Dean’s plea echoes around Cas’s thoughts. “I’m sorry.”

Dean’s face, once on the verge of tears, hardens with Winchester resolve. “I’ll find you!” he shouts. The light is pulling him further up and away. “I’ll get you outta here Cas! Just hold on! I will! Cas… I…” Dean’s words are lost to Cas. The light disappears along with Dean and Cas is left alone.

He doesn’t lower his hand; if he tries he can still pretend her feels Dean’s cheek. Cas’s heart is beating to fast in his chest. Try as he might, Cas can’t stomp out the hope that grows with in him. It warms him, makes him want to live. He will see Dean again. He will be freed from his punishment.

“Good luck, Dean Winchester.”

第八季,我們所深愛的 Castiel 又要消失一陣子,沒有人知道他何時會再度回到 Dean 的身邊回到我們的眼前,但是對我來講,這次的等待似乎比較沒有上次那樣令人難熬;大概是因為我可以猜得到,和他在煉獄當中朝夕相處的 Dean,應該比我們更無法承受再次失去 Castiel 的心痛。

沒有辦法只能獨自離開煉獄的 Dean,是抱著什麼樣的心情離開 Castiel 的?他又是怎麼樣放開 Castiel 的手離開那黑暗又充滿怪物的世界?他怎麼能夠捨得放天使一個人繼續留在那邊飽受折磨?我想不出來,但是這篇給了我一個最接近我心情的可能,他也寫出了這倆個人分離有多麼的不捨跟難過。看似堅強放手讓 Dean 一個人逃出生天的 Castiel,其實比誰都脆弱,但是為了不讓 Dean 內疚、不讓 Dean 猶豫不願離開,他只能把脆弱埋到內心的最深處,用平靜的聲音和堅定的眼神讓 Dean 相信他可以很好,勉強自己穩住雙手不要顫抖。

但是 Dean 知道,他不能放下這個天使,他不能不抓住他深愛的 Cas;他看過 Cas 的脆弱、他知道天使也會受傷,所以他不能就這樣丟下他不管。不管要花多久的時間,不管要付出多大的代價,他都要再把 Castiel 給找回來。

而留在煉獄裡面繼續受折磨的 Castiel,讓我一直想起這首歌…究竟還要多久,Castiel 才會再度被拯救?

I’m In Here

by Sia

I’m in here.
Can anybody see me?
Can anybody help?

I’m in here,
A prisoner of history.
Can anybody help?

Can you hear my call? Are you coming to get me now?
I’ve been waiting for you to come rescue me
I need you to hold all of the sadness I can not…
Live with inside of me

I’m in here.
I’m trying to tell you something.
Can anybody help?

I’m in here.
I’m calling out but you cant hear.
Can anybody help?

Can you hear my call? Are you coming to get me now?
I’ve been waiting for you to come rescue me.
I need you to hold, all of the sadness I can not…
Live with inside of me.

I’m crying out.
I’m backing down.
I am feeling it all.
Stuck inside these walls, tell me there is hope for me.
Is anybody out there listening?

Can you hear my call? Are you coming to get me now?
I’ve been waiting for you to come rescue me.
I need you to hold, all of the sadness I can not…
Live with inside of me

Can you hear my call? Are you coming to get me now?
I’ve been waiting for you to come rescue me.
I need you to hold, all of the sadness I can not…
Live with inside of me.

I’m in here.
Can anybody hear me?
Can anybody help?

6 thoughts on “Who is your Good Luck, Castiel?

  1. 看來misha第八季又是客串演出哩~~好傷心~~不只為兩人的分離~~也為自己又要癡癡低等小翅膀出現哩~~T_T

發表迴響

在下方填入你的資料或按右方圖示以社群網站登入:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / 變更 )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / 變更 )

Facebook照片

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / 變更 )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / 變更 )

連結到 %s